i had breakfast with a cream donut which i bought yesterday. it was cool if i have a cup of coffee too, especially, coldbrew.
i did a little bit drawing and sat math practices. hmm,.. nothing special today, but i don't know why i felt so tired, i wanna go to bed early today.
i did a pixel drawing... haven't done yet...
saturday 18th july
day was good today.
i did some sat reading and writing practices. this was not my bad skill though, but i felt so scared when i got a bad score. so, i haven't practiced it for too long.
then, i tried to sketch and draw the idea for my intership job. our team have to finish 30 warning posters for a marketing campaign, so each person have to draw five posters.
in the evening, my dad took me to passport photo studio, because i needed to renew my passport. after that, we popped into tours les jours bakery again, and brang home some sucries.
wednesday 15th july
camus wrote a letter to A.R (1942-1945):
"but i believe that this affaire goes beyond me. for you have taken a moral point of
view that
prevented you from judging with the lucidity and the talent you have been known for. your
position is untenable and you know it better than anyone. there is a very vague frontier between
your criticisms and the judgments that may soon be made by a dictatorship (that were made in
france not so long ago) as to the moral character of this or that work. let me tell you without
anger, that is hateful. neither you nor anyone has a right to judge whether a work may serve or
harm the nation at this moment or forever. i refuse in any case to submit to such judgments, and
this is the reason for my letter. i beg you to believe, indeed, that i should have accepted more
serious criticisms with serenity if they had been expressed in a less didactic spirit."
mai-thao also said in the interview with jane katz (july 10 1980):
"as a writer, i touch on the problem of human life: it is not my purpose to find a
solution. most
of my books and stories are based on my own experience, or on that of people i have known.
things that i remember are mixed with things that i make up. style—that’s the important
element."
monday 13th july
reading translated vietnamese books makes me forget how beautiful my mother tongue is.
if we forget about politics and morality, "voi nhau mot ngay nao" by du-tu-le is a very
captivating story, that said, i believe that literature doesen't have the concept of being
immoral.
i imagine that if this story were made into a film, it would be something like "the lover". the
mood and the vibe would match the story very well.
sunday 12th july
mom and dad brought me some sucries from tous les jours. les donuts are so yummy.
friday 10th july
this is my tumblog, the theme is actually from nonspace.dev.
i wrote a note a year ago when i read camus'speech in english about meditarranean. although i
couldn't finish the book because it felt too dry and academic for me, i still found a deep
connection between myself and his words.
i just bought notebooks of camus in 1942-1951 which was translated into vietnamese. i really
fancied a quote of
andre gide on his diary: "only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and
written by reason."
i agreed with this saying. i have listened to a ton of ville valo's songs, and i almost say im a
huge fan of ville valo and his band, him. his songs have always meantioned about someone who
love madly and crave for love. also, he merged the image of darkness and his nordic culture at
the same time. especially, what impressed me the most is his ideas suitable thru all his youth
and older age. more than a young rebel, he has created his personal philosophy through the
years.
there is no right or wrong, just a philosophy that suit us and keep our thoughts over years is
so much more beautiful.
plus, the sacrament is my love song, and the music video is really cool too.
thursday 9th july
i did some research for my job internship today and filled out some paper in the morning. to me,
it's a very good way to work remotely.
my mom bought me vietnamese crispy chicken rice for breakfast. then, i booked milk tea on shopee
food at noon while i was stucking with sat practices.
i felt like today was not a day for sat. i gave lots of erorr answers. this is stuck right now.
i watched thin lizzy on my home tv. i have found that phil lynott is really charismatic to me.
the way he talked, the way he moved and the way the wrote songs,.. i was attracted by all of
these things without knowing the reason. i love both the way he was on the stage and on
interviews.
wednesday 8th july
we ate hotpot today. i bought hadilao mala and tomyum sauces on shopee yesterday; and the
shipper came today. there were already beef, fish and squid in the refrigerator. then, my dad
bought more tofu, shredded cabbage, enoki mushrooms at the market.
also, it's raining outside... all i can say is, this is a match made in heaven.
i just start playing project senkai, and fall in love with this song. i wanna play game more but
i have to finish my task.
tuesday 7th july
today is my official internship start date. eventho, i went to metro station to meet them for 2
times before.
there will be lots of things to do from now to mid august, and i don't really know how i can
pass this semester... but it's great to meet nice people.
after answering 100 questions, there are lots of ideas i wanna do for my site. so, guys let wait
and see!!!
monday 6th july
no more increasing... how can i pass the test...
sunday 5th july
i just finished 100 questions page for my website. but i didn't know where to put it in.
saturday 6th july
i felt so lazy today.
monday 1st july
i wanna keep the update version of my site until dimden publish widgetstar because i need some
stuff on my website. but i can't wait for that too long.
tuesday 30th june
the last day of june!!!
friday 26th june
i closely finish praticing sat math, just only one lesson and then i have to jump into doing sat
on Bluebook. i don't have much time left, i have to go out...
i wanna update my site on neocities and nekoweb but im waiting for dimden to published his
widgetstar. so that i can change my ugly lastfm on my site. but i don't know when, maybe next
month.
friday 19th june
i just slept only 2 hours last night. i tried to fall asleep but i couldn't get out of negative
thoughts, which have obsesed me through years.
this is scaring me...
i had a meet with people in metro station today. this was not the reason why i couldn't sleep
well last night, eventhough i tried to go to bed early. i met 2 sisters at there and another
participant, and they gave
a small interview to that girl and me. man, i was so naive that i didn't except this. luckily,
two of them were
really kind, and it seemed like they didn't expect too much on us.
after that, i went to a coffee shop near by the station. the view was really nice in the
morning.
i took this picture by using my iphone. i hope i can have a camera next year.
tuesday 16th june
i woke up in 11 am today - it's really late than my normal day. cause i don't know why i just
wanted to sleep more and didn't wanna wake up...
i asked 2 of my friends to draw them free commisions. plus, i wanna practice anime style. and
they all said yess.
i realize that the only games i can play without being bored is rythms games. but after, tap
sonic was down, i wanna find another game that i really into the most. arceae is not bad. but
their song are not touching me, but their game story.
monday 15th june
today is my birthday.
and today is the day i feel very lazy. i just want to lie in my bed and read boylove comic. i
don't know why some high school hobbies can heal my emotion so well than every therapies can...
saturday 13th june
i am finding an intership job in this semester. honestly, i don't believe that i can find one for
me, cause i don't want to work deep inside...
how can years go through so fast, it makes me got a feeling like i lose alot and grew alot at
the same time. i don't wanna grow up, i have never intended to be an adult...so tired. but
that's my choice, i see some friends of mine who look very playful and innocent. they make me
envy. it's because im wrong or the world don't have justice. feel so much have never good for
people.
i still have some videos left on coursera and i have to finish it right now...
i just remember this lyric "let me be death and gone inside your arms..."
i don't mention about the death, just want to be shelter.
monday 8th june
i told my mom that i wanna take the sat test this year, cause she said if i go to the US, i have
to study nursing as my brother. but i didnt want to, so... i have to reach every high scores and
i have to achieve a full-ride scholarship for computer science by myself.
sunday 7th june
i feel so tired today. i tried to complete my weekly tasks but i couldn concentrate on anything.
anyway... all my tasks are done.
friday 5th june
i went to a career festival at my university today. honestly, there were not many companies that
suited my major.
im looking for an intership so im working on my portfolio, but im not sure if it is good enough
to get a job.
however, i have to practice sat productively at the same time, cause i chose my test date in
october so i can apply to the university in fall 2027.
thursday 4th june
i went out and met my friend today.
honestly, it was out of the blue because i told her last week that i didn't wanna hang out, i
had so much things to do. but its stressed me out this week, so... we were here.
the weather was really hot eventhough the sun was down. we drank 2 liters of beer and
ordered 3
dishes. i didn't think we can drink much as this, also i didnt expect that i feel so
good after
that.
but... i wasn't drunk at all, it was okay...
tuesday 2nd june
i don't think i did anything productive today.
my diary page had lots of negative spaces making it looked so unfinished. so i changed
my layout
and motified it to be more peaceful to read.
i wanted to have a background drawing by myself, then i sketched my ideas on paper and
redrew it
on krita. i really want to make it done tomorow, but im not sure about this...
i tend to draw wallpapers and put it on kofi. i want everyone can use it for free.
however i
don't have any idea. i asked everyone that what they want their wallpapers look like.
and i
quickly realized that they like something peaceful and cute.
this makes me want to rebuilt my site again, cause this site is too colorful and one of
my
friencds said it looks so garish.
sunday 31st may
the last day of may. beautifully, c'est dimanche auourd'hui aussi.
i watched some videos on coursera in the morning. then i tried to learn some new french
sentences with vlog. if you don't know, one of my goals is that i want to speak french
fluently
this year. but it's always hard to learn a new language.
i don't know why sometimes in a day, i felt a bit sad. i didn't think about bad memories
but
they stayed in my mind and i couldn't get rid of them. i hope ça ne me dérange pas du
tout.
i felt a bit lazy after that, but i came up with an idea for drawing nekoweb a banner.
so, i
sketched some random ideas and tried to finish it today on krita.
honestly, i was so happy to see that dimden said its good. it's make my day!
saturday 30th may
i realized that i wrote a wrong french word yesterday. it was friday, so in french i had
to write
"vendredi" intead of "lundi". im always writing misspelled words and grammar mistakes in
english
and french. im so jealous when i see people who can use languages which are not their
mother
tongues so naturally and fluently.
j'ai commencé ma journée avec un café aujourd'hui. ensuite, j'ai plein de choses
amusantes à
faire.
i finished 2/3 modules today. i just need to finish 2 to 3 modules in a week, so it's
okay if it
end at 2. then, i did 3 sat math lessons and learned some new french sentences through a
vlog on
youtube. you can see i try to use them, even though it is really ridiculous.
it's exactly 8:36 pm, maybe 9pm when i post this and especially it is raining outside.
this is
the best time to lie in bed. but i have some stuff to do right now.
thursday 29th may
c'est vendredi, aujourd'hui.
i don't know why this week nearly passed so fast, i feel like i didn't do anything
worthwhile.
but i wanna go to sleep tho...
i didn't write anything on this digital diary 2 days ago, cause i was so lazy in bed. and
it was
really hard to get out of bed at night. im not a night owl for sure, although i really
wanted
to. i used to want to sleep less and work more. but then, i realize that everyone should
sleep 8
hours a day.
i hope i can be someone...
tuesday 26th may
i had period pain today. this made me don't want to do anythings in the morning.
im trying to add an online/offline widget on my site, cause i thought it seem cool if i
have one
on my site. but im having a little bit trouble.
monday 25th may
i finished all my tasks i wanted to do today, including doing sat math, sat reading and
wrting.
i returned to my coursera and tried to watch some videos on google cybersecurity and
data
analytics courses. cause i want to take 3 certifications in early december, therefore i
have to
finish at least 3 modules per week.
honestly, i find happiness in what i do right now. i hope things are going my way.
sunday 24th may
i got all my stuff done very early today.
i realized that i need more than 600 000 vnd for items to make a diy robot. but i
literally can't
pay for those right now. so, i delayed this project for a few months, cause im still
interested
in it.
i saw a little boy learning coding on leetcode and recorded videos on youtube. i felt so
envious
of him, so i created an account on leetcode to start learning too. however, i couldn't
remember
all the stuff i have learned on khan academy and in high school also. (╥ ᴗ ╥)
aujourd'hui, j'ai tout fini très tôt.
j'ai réalisé que j'avais besoin de plus de 600 000 vnd pour acheter le matériel. mais, je
ne peux
pas payer pour ça en ce moment. du coup, j'ai repoussé ce projet à dans quelques mois.
j'ai regardé un petit garçon qui apprenait à coder sur leetcode sur youtube. j'ai été
tellement
jalouse de lui que j'ai créé un compte sur leetcode pour apprendre. cependant, je ne me
rappelle
de rien de ce que j'ai appris. (╥ ᴗ ╥)
saturday 23rd may
after a tiring week, i finally found the enery for doing what i want again. i just came
across a
bunch of videos which guide people through making diy robots,
and wrote down some items to buy later. im thinking about making one for myself by using
their
tutorials. this makes me want to learn more about coding languages.
i don't know why i continually want to learn more and more new stuff.
also, i love any different cultures in the world, i want to speak french and finnish
fluently
too.
thursday 21st may
i have to be honest that i can not only draw for entire of my life. i have so much things
to do
beside making arts, and i don't want to limit myself in one field.
wednesday 20th may
today is not a bad day.
i watched several videos on coursera, i almost finish cycbersecurity course.
specifically, 88% in
total.
i changed a little bit items on the site and then did some reading and writing sat on
khan
academy.
aujourd'hui n'est pas une mauvaise journée.
j'ai regardé plusieurs vidéos sur coursera, j'ai presque fini le cours de cybersécurité.
plus
précisément, j'ai atteint 88% au total.
j'ai modifié des élements du site, puis j'ai fait de la reading & writing pour le sat sur
khan
academy.
tuesday 19th may
i went to my uni today. im about to have an intership en septembre so i have to attend a
workshop.
i bought a bottle of latte chocolate coming from kirin. do you know that, i really like
chocolate and sweet.
i saw someone on tiktok drink it, i can't remember how long, maybe... a year ago. i was
like
oow, i have to try it. but now, i did.
it not bussin like i thought. so boring...
there are two type of topics on two difference days, tuesday and thursday, and we must
pick a day
to attend.
so, i chose today. i didn't take any photos of it to show you guys, cause i felt like i
will
catch someone's face every corner of a room.
i think this workshop is kinda informative to me. and the point is i realise that there
are
still plenty of job opportunities for everyone so if your leader or your environment let
you
feel bad about yourself, then change the job.
i came home at noon, and had lunch. and then, take a nap until 16:30 cause there was a
small
house fire near my aparment so the power is out.
today is not a productive day, i didn't do anything i want.
monday 18th may
i did some math on khan academy this morning. i felt better than last week, therefore i
could
solve more questions.
im might not the one who disciplined but i promise that im trying my best.
this is the difference between today and two weeks ago.
honestly, i wanted to do more, because i didn't feel enough. but when i looked at these
pics, i
felt good about myself.
07/05/2026
18/05/2026
i went to exercise this afternoon, and there was a little rain when i came home.
i really love the rainy season in saigon. i think im kinda romantic^^... but the worst
thing is
it will très chaud at noon.
saturday 16th may
i feel very lazy this week, but i don't know why. it was really hard for me to sit at my
desk and
study productively. i wish i could do more, learning french, doing sat, reading,...
there are a
lot of things i wanna do~
my father cooked me a good meal at lunch. honestly, it seems like drinking food, which
people
usually eat with beer or wine when they go out with friends at night in vietnam.
i didn't go out to exercise this afternoon, because i didn't feel like doing anything.
but i
took my notebook to the living room and im expecting that i could solve some math sat
question
on khan academy. Luckily, i did.
im not sure that i can sit for the sat test on december this year or not. i feel like i
need
more time... j'en ai marre...
monday 11th may
i tried to fix my index page today because i want it look neater and more stable.
however, coding is really hard for a person with zero-experience like me.
i basically want to make something truly epic and great. yes,... im way to ambitious.
next, i need to learn JS to make my dream come true.
i have to practice reading and writing sat on khan academy but i did not do anything.
i feel so anxious, really anxious... and i dont know why...
beside, my mom and dad bought lots of food for me yesterday.
they went to aeon mall in long an province and brought back some les sucreries, a pizza
and
sushi.
i could't eat all of them either yesterday or today. i feel full and blessed rn.
saturday 21st march - hollow
last night, i had lots of things to write on this digi diary but I felt lazy to get out
of my
bed. i think i have to put more effort on my petit blog and personalized it as much as I
can. I
need to have something to call my own!
people find me hard to understand. but I think the reason is simply that i do not want to
live
here. i am not sure exactly when this feeling started, maybe when I was 18 years old or
maybe
such a long, long time ago. i do not hate this country, i just do not believe anything
beautiful
will come to me as long as i stay. just as my old friends and everyone around me, i want
to
move. i know that i'm the ambitious sort who isn't satified with who she is now. she
wants more!
everything that has happened over the past three years proves that i was not wrong, i
have never
been wrong. but I do not want to blame anyone. i believe in my journey, i believe that
higher
spirits will design a beautiful future for me. i do not want to feel anxious anymore.
why should
i have to be sad?
add 02/04/2026
i don't need everyone to understand me anymore. no one has to be responsible for other
people.
no one belongs to no one. and i have to go on my own path.
i'm living a life like camus. now, my life is better than when i was in elementary
school. i can
do my things and i can have my own room. this is already a happiness to me, so i don't
need to
create it or find it in anywhere else. this is what he said. Life is absurd. no one
gonna take
my soul away!!!
